Dial 1-800/AIDSNYC
Every Monday and Wednesday morning, promptly at 10 a.m., I depart behind
my every day life and switch to volunteering as an AIDS Hotline counselor at New York
City's GMHC [Gay Men's Health Crisis], the nation's largest social service
company for AIDS.
For the ulterior 4 hours, my co-volunteers and I sit in entrance of a business enterprise institution of
constantly-ringing telephones, speaking to males, ladies, and youths who name in
from throughout the nation with pressing questions on AIDS, the ravaging sickness
that has left 13.9 million common people uneffective worldwide.
After nearly 20 years, an entire era, households are notwithstandin going through the
heartache of tending the sick, whereas scientists proceed to be confounded by
this cussed, ravaging computer virus.
Although the federal government at the moment spends$Four billion per yr on
AIDS analysis, and $15 billion worldwide, there isn't a remedy visible for the micro-organism
an infection and no vaccine obtainable. Small surprise that the GMHC AIDS Hotline,
the nation's first, is awash with greater than 40,000 calls annually.
Listening to callers Eight hours every week, I ordinarily suppose the Hotline is decidedly a
direct hyperlink to the soul of callers--an unknown discussion board that enables every to
reveal secrets and techniques and fears that they may in any other case not by a blame sight concentrate on with anybody.
A Morning in May
This is the way in which it started: "Good morning, GMHC AIDS Hotline, can I help
you?"
"Yes...I have a question...[hesitantly] My son...he's 21...and he just found
out...he's HIV-positive [voice breaking] I'm.....alone, divorced. And I need some
help...someone to talk to..."
"Of course....happy to talk to you...it sounds like this has been devastating
for you...."
"It's terrible. He told me two nights ago....he's...he's so young....I don't
want him to die. He's my only child....why did this have to happen?" [crying]
Her son, she explains, had typically uncared for utilizing safes, satisfied
he would not contract HIV an infection from his feminine companions.
"How could he be so stupid?" she now asks angrily. "Why didn't he know
how to protect himself? I don't understand. What am I going to do?"
We speak for 35 minutes, and by the tip of the dialog, I discover I'm
barely metabolic process. The agitated girl's anguish is palpable. Her situation is
each mom's worst nightmare.The life-time of her little one is in hazard and she or he
feels helpless and afraid. I am unable to think of something worse.
During the decision, I do my superior to make use of the GMHC Hotline communications protocol of "active
listening," which let ins utilizing silence, empathy and mild searching with
open-ended questions. I'm additionally having my very own emotional response to the panic
in her voice, and I'm anxious about whether or not I'm doing sufficient.
Toward the tip of the clal, when she exclaims: "I don't want my baby to
die," my coronary heart plummets: "I know....I understand that, but there is hope," I inform
her. I discover myself on the verge of tears.
The Bad News
This mom's story is just too frequent. According to the Centers for Disease
Control in Atlanta, Ga., 40,000 Americans (half of them below 25) are new
contaminated with the AIDS computer virus annually. Unprotected intercourse and blood vessel drug
use stay the principal modes of transmission.
"Teenagers," notes AIDS activist Elizabeth Taylor, "are being very hard hit."
She refers back to the three million adolescents who contract a sexually-transmitted
sickness yearly.
"Heterosexual teen football players who are healthy and drink milk can
catch on too!" says the 71-year-old actress, who has singlehandedly raised $150
million for AIDS analysis. "But teens are very ignorant and feel invincible. They
believe there's an invisible shield protective them from the computer virus, when it's
actually aimed right at them."
Taylor believes in addressing the issue head-on: "Tell your teen son:
'Maybe a safe doesn't feel as good, but if it saves your life, it's better than
being six feet under.' Intelligence must replace random sex."
Although a brand new era of AIDS-fighting medicines is prolonging the
lives of hundreds, much half of the 900,000 common people contaminated with HIV inside the
U.S. can't afford these medication. Since the computer virus was found in l981, 410,800
Americans have died from AIDS-related problems, and the sickness has left
13.9 million uneffective worldwide.
Who Calls a Hotline?
Not way back I took a name from a 15-year-old boy home in a small city who
mentioned he feels responsible about his sexual attraction to different boys and is frightened to
concentrate on this together with his mother and father. I ask him if there is a college counselor or relative
he may speak to, notwithstandin he says he is too afraid to speak in confidence to anybody.
Being an adolescent is difficult sufficient, I assumed, with out the stress of
conserving this kinda secret. I felt displeased and saddened that this little one cannot
comfortably concentrate on his emotions together with his personal mother and father.
I encourage him to name the Gay Community Center Youth Program in a
close by metropolis. In the meantime, I assured him that he may name our Hotline
anytime, that we power be there for him.
This name was typical of the various we get from youngsters,whispering from
their mother and father' properties, unsuspecting their flowering sexual emotions and considerations.
Our Hotline additionally receives calls from married males who cellular phone from their places of work,
anxious about illicit sexual encounters; homosexual males troubled unwanted side effects
from medicines; moms caring for a sick little one or grief-stricken for one misplaced to
AIDS; even well being care professionals themselves confused and requiring
burnout help.
One explicit morning, I'm smitten by the variety of single ladies who
flip to our hotline for assist. At 10:15 a.m. a agitated jr. girl calls,
explaining that she had been relationship person "very charismatic," after a two-
yr interval of sexual abstinence.
"At first we used safes and I was taking the pill to avoid pregnancy," she
says. But after her associate assured her he was HIV-negative, the couple started
having exposed intercourse. A number of months into the connection, she recounts, his
conduct turned "unpredictable," till he in conclusion admitted he was sleeping with
different ladies and was hooked on heroin. Now she has to face to the
"terror" of ready Three months earlier than acquiring an HIV antibody have a look at. To assist her
cope, I give her the name calling of three terapists in her space. The name lasts 43
minutes.
At 11:15 a.m. I take a name from a girl who's metabolic process closely.
She says that 4 months earlier she'd had a quick affair with a limo
driver, "not out of passion, but because I felt lonely. This was so all unlike
me," she continues. "I come from a traditional Orthodox Jewish family..."
Although they used safes, and she or he has since examined caustic for HIV, she
feels deeply ashamed, and has obstructed seeing him. And as a result of she has each
a persistent epithelial duct barm an infection and a rash on her neck, she's satisfied she
should be contaminated by HIV.
Although rashes, excessive fever, swollen lymph glands, heavy evening sweats, sore
throat, or different flu-like signs could point out HIV, they'll simply as simply
accompany the frequent chilly or flu, or different kinda an infection. I encourage her
to hunt medical assist and counseling, notwithstandin the calls ends on a down notice. "I
must have it [AIDS]," she moans. I'm browned off as a result of it does not sound
that scheme to me, but I am unable to get by way of to her. The name lasts 22 minutes.
It's 11.38 a.m. when a well-spoken girl, who says she's an legal professional,
calls from her workplace, asking for the name calling of unknown examination websites. At first
very businesslike, she calmly takes down all the data. I ask her why
she's contemplating a have a look at. Total silence. Then she begins to cry: "I....I can't
talk....I'm sorry...you see, I have swollen lymph glands....[crying]....And my
doctor wants to rule out HIV...I feel overwhelmed..." Then, abruptly: "Where
can I send a donation?" She thanks me and hurries off the cellular phone after simply 3
minutes.
These had been one-time callers, notwithstandin, as in any epidemic, a component of panic
prevails, and our hotline additionally attracts a military of "chronic" or repeat callers
who're intensely fearful disregardless of how benign their danger, many revealing
continued misconceptions and paranoia a couple of sickness that may be successfully
prevented. We do our superior to assist them, notwithstandin ordinarily they're imperviable to
counseling.
Most poignant are calls we get from AIDS sufferers, phoning from their
hospital beds, trying to navigate the exhausting labyrinth of coverage
and well being care issues. One man, in hospice care, mentioned he wanted
companionship and incomprehensible the "good old days" when he was good-looking and
wholesome.
That name was a hard one for me as simply the day earlier than an deep good friend of
mine, Joe, who had battled HIV for 16 years, had in conclusion succumbed. Although
on the finish Joe was a mere skeleton, he was notwithstandin at peace. "I've done
what I wanted to," he instructed me on our final go to. An avid gardener, he insisted
on a last journey to his nation home to see his backyard one final time. For a
second the caller's actuality and the recollection of my deceased good friend blurred in
my thoughts and I accustomed be overcome. Time for a break.
Face to Face
One of probably the most and distinctive companies GMHC provides is named "A-Team
Counseling," a one-time, in-person session that is free and unknown.
Recently, I accustomed get on an A-Team guidance a 26-year-old HIV-infected
mom from the Midwest. She had traveled to Manhattan by bus to search out her
estranged young ma, who, she recounted tearfully, had abducted her 7-year-
outdated son. Disheveled, painfully skinny, the lady was a worrying sight. She's
discovered that the 2 had already returned house the place the young ma was, and
the kid put in his grandmother's custory. custody of his grandmother.
Meanwhile she'd run out of cash for the return journey, been refused a mortgage by
her household, misplaced her ID, gone hungry and spent two nights on the road.
Fortunately, this girl was registered at an area AIDS group in her
city. I telephoned her social serviceer and persuaded him to purchase her a one-way
Greyhound bus ticket for $115.00. I additionally gave her subway tokens, a basket of
meals, juice and occasional. Smiling shyly, she thanked me for caring.
Shaking fingers arrivederci with this girl was a bittersweet farewell. What
will occur to her? I questioned will her well being deteriorate or enhance? Will she
achieve direction of her life and have the power to present for her son? I'll not by a blame sight know. One
factor I do know: She'd appeared with the sorrow of a hard life in her eyes,
notwithstandin when she left, she was elated on the considered being reunited on with her
little one. It appears that with religion and a serving to hand, nearly something is feasible.
* * * * *
10 BIGGEST MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT AIDS AND HIV
(This record would most likely be best when offered in a vertical chart,
the misperception on the left, the proper reply on the fitting.)
1)The AIDS computer virus will be transmitted by way of saliva, sweat, tears, piddle or feces;
additionally by way of deep fondling.
1) HIV can ONLY be transmitted by way of 4 bodily fluids: blood, semen,
epithelial duct secretions and breast milk--and may also be transmitted from a mom
to her little one earlier than start, throughout start, or whereas breast feeding. The alternate
of saliva by way of fondling is no-risk, until the saliva has blood in it and each
you and your associate are hemorrhage inside the mouth concurrently.
2) HIV power also be transmitted by way of informal contact with an contaminated individual.
2) You cannot get contaminated from bathroom seats, telephones or water fountains. The computer virus
cannot be transmitted inside the air by way of sneeze or coughing. You cannot get
HIV from sharing utensils or meals or from touching, or hugging. HIV dies after
being exposed to the air. Therefore, touching dried blood on a shaving blade, a
toothbrush or a rest room counter prime is not any danger. In any case, unbroken pores and skin is
impermeable, like a rubber raincoat, and can't take in the computer virus whether or not it is
alive or uneffective.
Blood transfusions and medical procedures inside the U.S. are protected. Giving blood is
fully risk-free. The probpower of acquiring HIV from dentists or different well being
care suppliers is just too low even to measure.You cannot catch on from mosquitoes or
different dirt ball or animal bites.
3) Oral intercourse is simply as dangerous as epithelial duct or anal intercourse.
3) Although not 100% risk-free, oral intercourse is taken into account a low-risk
exercise,besides if: you've gotten hemorrhage gums, latest dental work, open sores such
as a herpes lesion, any minimize, blister, or burn inside the mouth, or should you've simply
brushed or flossed your tooth. Also, oral intercourse with an contaminated girl is riskier
if she is having her interval, since emission blood can let in HIV. Overall,
rubber-base paint obstacles, (similar to safes or dental dams) used throughout oral intercourse cut back
the transmission of not simply HIV, notwithstandin different sexual transmitted sicknesses.
4) Animal pores and skin, rubber-base paint and ployurethan safes are all equally efficient in
stopping HIV an infection and you should use ANY lubrication on the safe
desired.
4)Only rubber-base paint or ployurethan safes could also be used, as HIV can move by way of
an animal pores and skin safe. With rubber-base paint safes, alone water-based lubricants--like
Ok-Y jelly or H-R jelly--may be used. No lubricants with oil, alcohol, or grease
are protected.Petroleum jelly,Vaseline, Crisco, mineral oil, child oil, therapeutic knead oil,
butter and most hand lotions can weaken the safe and trigger it to separate.
However, with ployurethan safes, petroleum-based lubricants will be
used.
5) Women need to depend on males utilizing safes throughout intercourse to guard
themselves towards HIV.
5) Women could make use of the "female safe," a plastic sheath that may be
inserted of their vaginas and used for defense towards HIV. It will be inserted
as a good deal like Eight hours earlier than intercourse, has rings at each ends to carry it in place and will be
lubricated with oil-based lubricants that keep wet longer. In addition, ladies
can carry standard safes for his or her male companions' use.
6) If a girl is HIV-positive, her offspring will habitually be born contaminated
with HIV.
6) With no medical therapy taken, about 25% of HIV-positive ladies will
give start to infants who're additionally contaminated. However, the usage of anti-HIV
medicines has resulted in a major lower of mother-to-child
transmission of HIV in utero and through supply to lower than 5%. (NYT 10/19/
99].
7) AIDS is au fon a homosexual sickness shrunken by white males.
7) Recent cognition compiled by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
point out that jr. homosexual Hispanic and African-American males and heterosexual
ladies are the fastest rising section of the inhabitants being contaminated with
HIV. Women now account for 43% of all HIV contaminated common people over age 15. [NYT
11/24/98] African-American and Hispanic ladies account for greater than 76%
of AIDS circumstances amongst ladies inside the U.S.
8) Heterosexual males aren't actually in danger for catching HIV, even when they
do not use safes.
8) The inside opening of the phallus consists of highly-absorbent, sponge-
like mucose membrane tissues, which may present a route for HIV-infected
epithelial duct secretions or blood to enter the bloodstream. Proper safe use
protects males from an infection.
9) The AIDS epidemic is au fon over as a result of new AIDS medicines like
protease inhibitors and others have turned AIDS right into a continual, not a terminal
sickness.
9) In the U.S., AIDS is the fifth main reason for dying for common people 25-44 years
outdated. Roughly half of all these contaminated with HIV inside the U.S. aren't receiving any
medicines or medical care. AIDS now kills extra common people worldwide than any
different an infection, together with malaria and tuberculosis.[NYT 11/24/98] In 1998
alone, 2.5 million common people died of AIDS worldwide. 13.9 million common people have
died because the computer virus was found in 1981.
10) If you suppose you have been exposed to HIV by way of exposed intercourse, you'll be able to
take an HIV antibody have a look at 2 weeks later and get an correct outcome.
10) The normal "window" or ready interval girdle a full Three months. However,
as a result of the widely-used HIV antibody checks (The ELISA and Western Blot) have
turn bent on be so delicate, about 95% of individuals will procure an correct outcome 4-6
weeks after a potential packaging to the computer virus.
* * * *
[Note:The information explicit above was reviewed for medical truth by Dr.
Todd J. Yancey, an infectious disease specialist practicing in New York City and
affiliated with New York Presbyterian Hospital, NY, Cornell Campus.]
THE CHILD LIFE PROGRAM
"Mommy takes a heap of medicine and Mommy's really tired somemultiplication and she
can't take you to the park as a good deal like she accustomed. It's not that I don't love
you...and that I don't want to...but Uncle Jack's going to take you to the park
today." --A mom home with AIDS, a consumer at GMHC, speaking to her 6-year-
outdated son.
In New York City alone, 28,000 youngsters have been nurtureless by AIDS because the
epidemic started [NYT 12/13/98]
GMHC's distinctive Child Life Program serves HIV-infected mother and father and their
children--who could, or could not, be contaminated with the computer virus. "We help families
strengthen their power to cope, relieve the pressure of nurtureing with support
services, and teach nurtures how to talk to their kids," says Child Life Program
Coordinator Alison Ferst. "Unfortunately, should a nurture or child vomit
enough to be facing death, we also help them walk through it with grace and
dignity---as opposed to feeling alone, isolated and frightened.
"We additionally encourage sick mother and father to make steady authorized plans for his or her
youngsters who could also be left behind," adds Ferst, "and to have revealing
conversations with the youngsters prematurely, so you do not have a baby standing
at her mom's funeral, unsure the place she's going ulterior."
When an HIV-infected Mom arrives at GMHC to have lunch, attend a support
group, consult with a lawyer, or access the acupuncture clinic, she can leave
her children in a spacious playroom, decorated with fanciful murals and a giant
tree hand-painted by the far-famed children's story author and illustrator, Maurice
Sendak, who given his art. [see photos] The program provides: child-
sitting, nutriment services, a food pantry, art and magic classes, and
recreational trips--church picnics, seasonal apple-pumpkin picking,
amusement parks, zoos, museums, beaches. Also: preparation help sessions,
holiday parties, hospital visits, summer sports and weekly support groups for
HIV- positive nurtures and their HIV-negative children.
This unique program also features: Cooking classes for kids who somemultiplication
prepare meals for sick nurtures; Pediatric Buddies, GMHC adult volunteers who
play with sick children and also assist with family chores; Fun With Feelings
Support Group, Friday Evening Family Time, Birthday parties, and a Holiday Gift
Drive.
"Children contaminated or affected by AIDS," concludes Ferst, "need to be like
different children: They need to play with their buddies, need to know that person
will in the to the last degree multiplication maintain them, need to know they are not alone, and infrequently
surprise if it is their fault when Mom or Dad will get sick." These youngsters want a
serving to hand and any of us can present one.
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